Lines

Water Color Pencil on Resurfaced Old Book Page

Day one of the workshop began with introducing ourselves and the artist we will be working with, followed by an interesting slideshow.  Work began around 11:30 for me and I powered through until 3:00, skipping lunch.  I drew lines, obsessed with trying to make a crispy image. I realy enjoyed the process however I was not at all satisfied with the result.  I guess you could say my art critic showed up to the workshop.  Two minutes before leaving for the day I took a large wet paintbrush and obliterated everything I previously drew.  It was like taking an eraser to a chalkboard.  Nothing remains.  The picture above is one of the drawings that no longer exists in the physical form.  I don’t really care so much about the drawing, but it is the way I doubt myself that has me discouraged.   Its disappointing how insecurity can be so compelling.

In the safety of my home I made little films in my head, ways that I would not have to return to the workshop.  Part of me would like to just be home all day tomorrow and the next working in my studio and not be around people. I know this mood will pass and I will return to the workshop. The important thing is to not get stuck and so far I am not stuck.