Tarot
- mossilvas
- Aug 13
- 1 min read
Today at 5:35 the thought of Tarot popped into my head. I could not find a deck in the house so I zipped down to Avalon Visions and bought one.
Online I found instruction for a spread to help me look at intentions for the next decade. The questions promped a lot of writing and the awareness I have not done much introspection the past five years. While writing I grabbed hold of fast moving thought. Over the past years I have gotton sort of a resigned that what is happening in this life does not really matter. Everything .is mercurial. If I pour myself into someting it will eventually come to an end. This inevitability has taken some of my drive to work hard on things such as meditation or relationships, because in the end it will unravel. And the danger of fatalistic thinking is it spreads to things that are not difficult but perhaps uncomfortable or challenging to my self image. Frutile thinking for me leads to a gradual hardening of aliveness. And there is part of me that really does not want me to go into the whole self awareness meditation thing again. It does not want me to have anything because loosing is such a disappointment. It is convinced I will never get what I truly love and if I did get it, it will end.
Okay what to you truly love?
Connection and fluidity at the same time.
Here is a link to the questions and Tarot spread I played around with today.
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