Disintergration

Passage from this to that, transformation, and metamorphosis all go through a period of disintergration; a breakdown or underminging of cohesive stable form. It can be quite messy and disorienting, not fun to experience or look at.

This drawing began with the planchet. With eyes closed I focued on my upper-ish mid back, right around the bra line. I tried to enter that space in my body while the planchet moved. It was incredibly difficult to inhabit. At first I was going to say it felt like a dead zone, but that is not right. It felt more like there is no known pathway in. It felt blocked, protective and immobile. To sit with the lack of fluidity in that area was dificult. I started painting to distrack my self from the discomfort of being cutoff from this part of my body. Then I disliked how I was painting...so carful to stay in the lines. Someting needed to break out and be free so I just scribbled and let the ugliness come forward. I didnt want to post such a messy picture but it is what I worked on today. So here you go. It is in a state of disintergration and perhaps too so is my mid-back.